Except this time, when I entered the room there was a familiarity and playfulness.Īs we got into the massage I noticed him getting particularly close to sensitive areas. The spa receptionist had definitely set me up with the right masseuse.Ī month later, I went back and requested the same man. Not only was the idea of teasing him again a bit exciting, but my neck and back - which were a mess - felt a million times better. Here was an hour of peace and relaxation just for me to forget everything. When you’re in a bad relationship and constantly fighting, the stress gets to you. Plus, my body was so relaxed that it was hard not to get excited. It was just fun to have that kind of sexual tension in the air again after a few years of sexual drought. Yet, this man was easily fifteen years older than I was and not even close to my physical type. So, when it happened a second time (perhaps “accidentally” knocked off by his intentional tough kneading), I laughed and said, “I’m so sorry to flash you - twice.”
Rather than getting embarrassed, as I would’ve expected myself to be, it actually felt a little exciting to momentarily flash this masseuse. At one point during the massage, as I was face up, my towel slipped revealing my right breast. I had a male masseuse and he was the absolute right choice for my sore and broken-down body. I wondered if I was still sexy and still lovable. It was emotionally crushing and killed my self-esteem.
My ex and I finally ended our long-term relationship in the last few years of our relationship, the sex was non-existent.
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